Alex DeSpain

Look into your heart. Which snack loves you the most?

There are so many categories of snacks. It’s a little bit difficult to pick just ONE but if I was allowed one snack for the rest of my life, I think it might have to be the chocolate chip cookie. Brownies are pretty high up there though. If we move into the salty and crunchy category of snackage, I have to say Cool Ranch Doritos take the cake. After all, they are the coolest potato chip out there. In college, I probably would have answered with pudding cups. Sugar free pudding cups, half the guilt and twice the deliciousness… or something.

Which snack despises you? Why do you think that is?

Cow Tales are probably upset with me because I haven’t had one since I was a kid. How I remember being eight years old and going to the convenient store with my mom. “Can I have a Cow Tale Mom?”, I would ask. “Why yes sweetie, of course you can!”. HOORAY! That Cow Tale was chewed up and devoured within a minute.

Which snack is protective towards you?

Granola has my back. Straight up. There was a timesthat I was out on the town, snacking and walking (snack-walking), and a granola goth popped up out from the shadows. “Get those Necco wafers out of here!”, he said. Ashamed of my snack choice, I threw away the wafers. The granola goth took me to their secret club in the granola aisle of the grocery store. There, he poured the granola on the floor in the shape of a circle. “This is the circle of granola”. I was shown the yogurt and blueberry rituals and ancient granola goth recipes. From that day forward, I knew that granola was on my side.

Which snack misses you?

Ice cream and beef sundae. Since I became a vegetarian, I had to let go of that particular snack. It’s painful to talk about because I still have a place in my heart for the ice cream and beef sundae. It was one scoop of grape-flavored ice cream and 6 scoops of ground beef sprinkled on top. Mmmm mmmm mmmmm!!!

Which snack thinks you could do better?
Is it right?

I’m not entirely disappointed in this snack, but come on Peeps. Come on. Throw some chocolate in there. Put in some crunch. Not that eating a sugar coated baby chic in marshmallow form doesn’t sound scrump-diddly-umptious, it’s just missing that butterscotch syrup filling. You know?