You’re shooting your Tinder profile selfie and you definitely think that in it, you should be holding a snack. Which snack and why?

Funyuns #idigdeathbreath.

You’re on a first date and she/he desperately needs to stop in this 7-11 to grab a little something before drinks. What little something will make the date? And what will break it?

If she picks up a Skor bar I’ll assume she’s high class, likes to play tennis, probably has a small summer mansion, has a hutch of crystal serving dishes, she enjoys the finer tastes life has to offer. On the other hand if she comes back will a dried out rollie wiener or limited edition spicy beef taquito then all bets are off!

You’re on a second date at the movies and he/she goes to get snacks and you ask he/she to surprise you. But it’s a terrible surprise. What did he/she bring you?

She has returned with hot butter popcorn and jumbo bag of plain M&M’s, no biggie… except she pours the whole back of M&M’s into the popcorn, and with a big grin shakes it all up for a tasty snack. I’m dumbfounded and horrified!
…. who am I kidding, I actually love that.

The two of you are spending your first long weekend together. What fine munchable do you bring to the bedroom to keep the fires burning?

Definitely NOT raw jalapenos, you wouldn’t believe the welts that leaves. How about a nice bag of red hot jawbreakers, the fire still burns, yet it’s refreshing … and round.

You’re being proposed to and the ring is at the bottom of a bag of chips. What kind of chips does you fiancée know will seal the deal?

Natural Cheetos Puffs White Cheddar. You know, ‘cause they’re natural and fucking crack!