Summer Snackbusters

By Casey Hall

Casey Hall lives and works in Shanghai. When the going gets tough, he snacks on a vacuum-sealed bag of spicy duck necks, but when the tough get going, he prefers entire handfuls of tiny dried fish.


Doritos Presents National Lampoon Presents Cool Ranch

Poor man’s Ryan Reynolds and more-or-less Zac Efron star opposite too many tits to count in this raunchy dude ranch comedy about the ultimate summer break…down under!

Judd Apatow’s Milk Duds

Friends. Life. Kids.

Zack Snyder’s Slim Jim

A lone spicy, beefy warrior snaps into vengeance in one mind-bending, 4-minute bloodbath that’s been slowed down to 2 hours and 25 minutes.

Tim Burton’s Double Stuff

The world’s saddest cookie (voiced by Johnny Depp) falls in love with a cream-sucking vampiress (voiced by Helena Bonham Carter) in Burton’s reimagining of the classic cookieverse.

Farrelly Brothers’ Mike and Ike

Two actors who haven’t done anything in a while star as childhood friends who (for some reason) literally haven’t grown up in this gross-out comedy based on the popular fruit licorice.

Peter Jackson’s Kit Kat: The Wafer of Wodraught

Inspired by Tolkien’s largely unknown candy bar fan fiction, Jackson transports us to a crispy, chocolatey world inhabited by peaceful Kitbits, and the one Elder Kat who aims to destroy them all. The first chapter in a trilogy of quarilogies.

The Wachowskis’ Milky Way

Equal parts shogun legend and Gundam space opera, this expensive-looking saga tells the story of two holograms in love stretching time and space to their limits. Heavily, heavily inspired by the works of Akira Kurosawa.

Atomic Fireball from Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer

Mark and Donnie Wahlberg star in the ultimate road-trip movie, as they pilot an Earth-sized atomic bomb straight into the sun, dodging aliens high on Jupiter fumes, in an intergalactic Fear and Loathing-style odyssey. Dwayne Johnson as the sun.

Garry Marshall’s All Hallow’s Eve

October 31st is the scariest day of the year… to fall in love. The stories of more than 100 couples are connected by a seemingly magical, never empty bowl of Fun Size Snickers left on the porch of a house where no one’s home … or are they?

Michel Gondry’s Why Was the Elephant Afraid of Peanut Butter? (Answer on Opposite Flap)

This high-concept visual-effects ride takes place entirely on the surface of a banana-flavored Laffy Taffy—as it’s being chewed! Characters are squished, stretched and folded in on themselves as their universe constantly changes dimensions and orientations.

Coen Brothers’ Brittle Bandits

It’s crimes and old times as two former lovers—Frances McDormand and William H. Macy—break into a peanut brittle factory and make off with $2,000,000 worth of caramelized gold. Now if only they can unload it before the deranged factory owner and Steve Buscemi unload their heads.

Werner Herzog’s Dirt

Cameras follow Herzog over the course of 15 years as he eats nothing but dirt in an attempt to assert his dominance over the natural world by consuming it piece by piece.