Eric R. Mortensen

What major snack event will cover the front pages of newspapers worldwide?

Probably a story about how I am attempting to set the Guinness Book World Record for longest time spent in a Hot Pocketâ„¢ as if it were some sort of delicious ham and cheese flavored sleeping bag. My mom will save a clipping from the paper and submit it to my college alumni magazine. At my reunion I will no longer be “that guy that gave us all a rash sophomore year”…I’ll be “that guy who actually achieved his dreams and inspired a generation.”

What innovation will rock the world of Combos?

Magnum-sized Combos.

How will pretzels change the game forever?

Gone are the days of pretend smoking a pretzel rod like a big fat gangster cigar…no, the kids are far too high tech for that now. That’s right, pretend e-vaping pretzel rods is the fashion on today’s modern playgrounds.

What snack will you form a deep emotional connection to this year?

I am having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich.

How will snacks finally win the war against meals?

George W Bush on the deck of an aircraft carrier in a flight suit declares “Mission Accomplished” as a victory banner made of Fruit Roll-ups is unfurled.