Harrison Freeman


Look into your heart. Which snack loves you the most?

Cinnamon Toast. When I was growing up, my Mom would make it for me if I had a nightmare or something like that. Mom deserves some credit too, but the toast did the heavy lifting. Just to be clear, that’s two pieces of toast, butter, sugar, and cinnamon, not Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Which snack despises you? Why do you think that is?

Wheat Thins. All I remember when I see Wheat Thins, is how delicious they are. Then a few bites in, I’ve been stabbed on the roof of my mouth but for some reason, I’m still eating.

Which snack is protective towards you?

Animal Crackers, for the simple fact that a grown man walking around holding a little red box of Animal Crackers by the string and biting the heads off of each “cracker” is incredibly disarming.

Which snack misses you?

I can’t say for certain if they miss me, but I hope it’s Cheetos Paws… wherever they are.

Which snack thinks you could do better?
Is it right?

Mr. Nature trail mix from the vending machine at work. It’s a relationship of convenience. I can definitely do better. We both can. One walnut does not mean you can say “contains walnuts.”