Josh Cochran

You and Albert Einstein are planning a weeklong road trip across the American Southwest. What snack do you pack in your little Coleman cooler?

A can of bacon flavored Spam, a take out container of white rice, a spoon and a little shaker of Furikake flakes.

It’s game night at Emily Dickinson’s house and you can’t show up empty-handed. What’s your move?

I bring a nice bottle of Bulleit Rye and a really large bowl of kale salad with yellow raisins and those crispy fried wonton wrappers on top drizzled with a light vinaigrette.

It’s Thomas Edison’s office party and you’ve signed up to bring cups and snacks. How are you going to take this get-together to the next level?

I dig a pit in the backyard (yeah, the office has a backyard), roast a young pig in it, Kalua style. Then I make mojitos. Everyone loves a good mojito.

You and Frida Kahlo have been walking around for two hours, trying to decide where to eat and now you are hangry. What do you snack on so you don’t bite each other’s heads off?

A box of room temperature, congealed chicken feet.

Ernest Hemingway is stuck at home, waiting for the cable guy, and he needs you to bring him something to munch on. What do you grab on your way over?

A handful of dog kibble. Honestly, these are probably the cheapest and lowest fat item to snack on in your apartment. There’s no shame in this.