Linzie Hunter

You’ve spent the past three years alone on a desert island. You build a raft and miraculously hit the mainland right in front of a Circle K. What’s the first thing into your mouth when you burst through its doors?

I’d go straight for a York Peppermint Pattie. I’m sure I’d need the sugar rush and the mintiness would hopefully take the edge off my salty sea-dog breath.

You’re the last survivor of avalanche that has trapped your party for a number of weeks. You may or may not have developed a taste for human flesh by the time you make it to the nearest supermarket. Which snack will welcome you home best?

After all that time at high altitude, I’m not going to be in a good way. My frostbite-ravaged fingers better be able to open a big bag of cheesy puffs. I hear that Edmund Hillary swore by them.

You’ve just been released after forty years of wrongful imprisonment. In recompense, the Governor has offered you a lifetime supply of your favorite snack. What morsel will make everything alright?

Char Sui Pork Buns. 40 years is long time without those steamed treats. Let’s hope I manage to stay on the right side of the law so that never happens.

You awake from a seven-year coma with a jolt. You sit straight up in your bed, and scream the name of the snack that you’ve been dreaming of all this time. What reveals itself at the top of your lungs?

Churros Churros Churros! Bring me the Churros!

You’ve been hiding out in the Russia from the U.S. Government for years now. You’re tired of borscht. What snack might you face charges of treason for?

Unless I could get them on the black market, I’d need to put in a call to the motherland and get them to send over some of Scotland’s finest Tunnocks Tea-cakes. You can take our country but you cannot take our snacks!