Matt Stevens

You’re standing outside a 7-11 when the aliens land. They can only survive on Earth for 2 minutes and you only have 2 dollars. What snack do you buy to teach them about humanity and provide sustenance for their long journey home?

Baby Ruth. Humans have a rough exterior and are a bit nuts, but inside, we are soft and sweet…wait. Do these aliens eat people? Maybe a bad idea.

You’ve been counting for months and finally your baby daughter has enough teeth to chew a chip. Which chip do you choose to start her human snacking experience?

Cool Ranch Doritos. Nuff said.

You’re a rebel and you’ve just won the war. What do you and your comrades munch on together as a free people?

Corn nuts taste just like freedom.

You’re 10 years old and you mom has asked you to clean your room one too many times so you’re running away. There’s enough change in your piggy bank and enough space in your bindle to bring one snack into your new life. What do you buy down at the general store?

10 year old me was all about the Astro Pops. Plus, after a few minutes of sucking, the point created renders it a deadly weapon…perfect tool for protection as my new life as a hobo.

You’re up in the club and you’ve just fallen in love. But in the morning, for reasons you’ll never fully understand, he or she will be gone. What snack will you buy at the corner store before you Uber back to your place? What snack will you pair with the the one that gets away?

Loves may come and go, but cheese will always be there for you. Anything with cheese. Forget the love thing actually, just always cheese.