Richard Perez

You and Albert Einstein are planning a weeklong road trip across the American Southwest. What snack do you pack in your little Coleman cooler?

Case of High Life, Cool Ranch Doritos and salted almonds. We should have brought a bigger cooler, but Einstein didn’t wanna pack too much.

It’s game night at Emily Dickinson’s house and you can’t show up empty-handed. What’s your move?

Jenga, Sour Patch Kids and ennui. But I leave a bit early, game night at Em’s is always kind of a bummer.

It’s Thomas Edison’s office party and you’ve signed up to bring cups and snacks. How are you going to take this get-together to the next level?

A lightbulb shaped piƱata filled with and Skittles and Airheads.

You and Frida Kahlo have been walking around for two hours, trying to decide where to eat and now you are hangry. What do you snack on so you don’t bite each other’s heads off?

We paint little eyeballs on some rocks and much on them while lying in the middle of the street.

Ernest Hemingway is stuck at home, waiting for the cable guy, and he needs you to bring him something to munch on. What do you grab on your way over?

A dozen donuts, and when the cable guy comes we bribe him to hook us up with HBO for free. Then we binge True Detective and regret eating a dozen donuts.